Are you expecting your second baby and is there a marked difference in your attitude towards this pregnancy in comparison to the previous one? Do you feel a little guilty when you realize that the thrill and joy are amiss this time around?? If you can relate to the above situations, maybe you are experiencing the second child syndrome. Read on to know what it means and find out how you can tackle it to enjoy the bliss of motherhood again!
What Is Second Child Syndrome?
Pregnancy is a time of celebration. However, sometimes the order of your pregnancy can very much decide your levels of joy and excitement. While you were pregnant for the first time, you were excited about the new phase. You talked for hours about newborns, read up pregnancy books, took your medicines strictly as per routine and observed each and every change without fail.
However, once you realize you are pregnant for the second time, even though you are happy your excitement levels may be dwindling a bit.
Child psychologists believe that the personality traits your babies will develop as they grow up have a lot to do with the order of their birth. Your first born baby’s personality will be very different from that of your second born. If you have more than two babies, each child will have a distinct personality, even though the values you teach all of them remain the same.
[ Read: Ways To Prepare Your Toddler For The New Baby ]
When you are a first-time mother, everything is new for you and it is all a big learning curve. You experience the joy of being a mother for the first time and every moment with your baby is unique. In the excitement of seeing your little one grow, you capture each and every moment, participate in all your baby’s activities and make sure your life revolves only around him. Your first baby naturally gets all your undivided attention, time, and love. He grows up to be happy, healthy, confident, and secure.
With your second pregnancy, you are already aware of how nausea will hit you, what foods make you feel comfortable and what all precautions you need to take. Besides coping with the discomforts of pregnancy, you have another child to look after, and you cannot afford to devote much time and attention to yourself as you did the first time you were expecting. Once your second baby arrives, you are very happy, but there is not as much excitement as there was the first time you experienced the bliss of motherhood. You don’t like being in that sleepless phase again, your fatigue hits the roof, and you simply note when your little one reaches the developmental milestones instead of celebrating his little achievements. In some cases, you may even fail to notice the exact month when your baby reaches a particular milestone. As a result, your second baby will realize from a very early age that there is a clear difference in your attitude towards his elder sibling and him. Not only will it adversely affect his self-esteem, but it can also lead to sibling rivalry that will only increase with age.
[ Read: Tips To Deal With Jealousy In Kids ]
Symptoms Of A Second Child Syndrome:
Going through a 2nd child syndrome is a perfectly natural experience that happens involuntarily. You may feel guilty about it in hindsight, but the fact is, a little adjustment here and then can help make the situation better. Watch out for the second child syndrome characteristics:
- Your second child may not respond to your love and affection in the same way as your first one. If you feel your younger child does not love you or does not want your attention, wait a moment. Your second child needs as much love as you can give, and probably more. It is most likely a way to show you that he is not happy with how much you love him and instead wants more from you in terms of affection and time. Make sure you tell him each day how much you love him.
- Your second child will always try to do things that are likely to make you angry, irritable or upset. He will do things that will make you brand him as naughtier than your first child, and this is probably the reaction he is trying to get from you. You must understand that all his mischievous activities simply aim to attract your attention. It means that your second child wants more of your time and your undivided attention too. Spend time with your children as a family but give your second child some special time as well.
[ Read: Tips To Cope Morning Sickness With A Toddler ]
- Each time you compare your children, your second child will take offense and will try and do the exact opposite of what you want him to do. Avoid comparison among siblings, especially when you are chiding the younger one and praising the older.
- Your second child is at a higher risk of developing emotional issues, especially if he feels unloved or neglected. Not giving enough attention to his needs, developments, and achievements will also make him feel demotivated. Make sure you cheer for your second one each time he does something new or special. Make him realize that he is as special for you as your first child.
[ Read: Second Pregnancy Symptoms And Signs ]
Second child syndrome is a common phenomenon in most families, but all you need to do is be a smart mother and make sure you divide your love and attention equally between your children.
Did you go through the second child syndrome? How did it affect your second child? Please share your experience with other moms here.
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