3 Best Ways To Help Children Develop Self Control

how to teach a child self control

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The fast times and rushed lifestyle has brought about a new dimension to the entire parent-child relationship. As life gets more crowded with the inclusion of high tech gadgets and such, it is difficult for you as a parent to teach your child about self-control and self-discipline.

Experts advise you to slow down, so that you can help your child learn to choose from different options and let them know the value of patience.

3 Ways On How To Develop Self Control In Children:

Children today don’t seem to know how to wait. While you may think that you are doing your best to help your child develop self-control and patience, the frustration levels seem to be rising. So here teaching your child self control becomes necessary.

Children are not born with patience. Self-control is a skill that is developed. The cultural changes today are such that your children are used to getting everything instantly. Here we have compiled some tips, age wise, for developing self control in ch


1. Children From Birth To One Year:

Babies in this age group have very little self-control. They act based on their instincts and cannot stop themselves. As a parent you need to be highly sensitive while managing your kid’s actions and feelings:

a. Soothe Your child:

When your child feels calm, she will be more in control.

  • Babies calm down in different ways. While some need to be rocked or hugged, others love to be put down or swaddled for some time.
  • You can teach your child to be calm by staying calm yourself. This will help her feel safe.

b. Tell About Acceptable Behaviors:

Show or tell your child what he or she can do apart from what is allowed to do.

  • If you find her throwing stones, you can give her a trash can and show her the techniques of throwing a ball. This will help her know the right and the wrong.
  • She can thus channel her energies for the right.

[ Read: Parenting Tips ]

2. From 1 To 2 Years:

Toddlers live in their own world and nurture strong beliefs and feelings. Their favorite word seems to be “NO” and that is how they assert themselves. This however does not mean that you should give in to their demands. Set routines, as that is one of the best ways to help them stay in control.

a. Help Your Child Choose:

Even though the toddlers are young, they must have the opportunity to choose.

  • This helps them feel under control.
  • Let them make decisions about what to play, what to read and what to snack on.

b. Recognize Your Toddler’s Feelings:

Children must be allowed to understand their feelings to gain self-control.

  • You can name and recognize the feelings that will help her control emotions
  • This is a necessary skill for success in school.

[ Read: Personality Development For Kids ]

3. From 2 To 3 Years:

Post-toddler age, children find it difficult to restrain their feelings and emotions. As they grow, you can encourage them to think of other possible things they are engaged in.

a. Continue To Help Your Child Choose:

You can present two acceptable options and allow her to choose.

  • You can put two options like, “would you like to dress first or take your food?”
  • In case you are taking a decision, do not offer a choice, and rather say, “It’s time to go to bed.”

b. Help Your Child Learn To Wait:

Children must be taught to wait as this constitutes the crux of self-discipline. Waiting helps children understand others have needs as well.

  • You can let your child wait for some time and give her something in the meanwhile.
  • Playing offers them an opportunity to learn to wait as they learn to wait for their turns and share.
  • Guide and show a lot of patience to help your child adjust to the conflicts in schools and in later stages of life.
  • Ironically, children who are made used to get everything on demand are not necessarily the happy ones.

[ Read: How To Discipline Your Child ]

Hope you liked our post on how to develop self control in children. Try and instill the above stated primary behaviors in your child that will actually help them later in their lives. Share with other parents in the comment section below the methods you apply to encourage self control in children.

References : 1

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